The cost of the best Brexit possible for the U.K. rose steeply again today with the announcement from Downing Street that all voters are to be issued with blindfolds.
“It’s our latest wheeze,” Ms Automoton, spokesdroid for Theresa May, told LCD Views only, “once everyone is blindfolded MPs will be able to look them in the eyes and tell them Brexit is worth it.”
The latest strategy to shore up Brexit, which is crumbling faster than a red, white and blue British shoreline, is also a boon for the exporting sector.
”This will definitely help our trade relations with China,” Ms Automoton said, “imagine being the state controlled factory that received the order for tens of millions of red, white and blue blindfolds? Amazing. It would help you reach a state dictated manufacturing output quota that even Jeremy and John would approve of!”
The blindfolds themselves will be issued as soon as the container ship arrives in Dartmouth.
”Of course G4S has won the contract to forcibly fit the blindfolds with a staple gun to the head of any treasonous remoaners who refuse to be blinded. That’s another win for private security firms living off the public purse! And a helpful nudge for the public as to how policy will be implemented after Brexit. Just imagine the increase in cost saving and productivity.”
We did ask Labour for comment on the blinding of Britain and were pleased by their quick reply.
”We think the blindfolds should be red comrade,” a talking potato told us from the cold soil of Magic Grandpa’s allotment, “but otherwise we’ve no problem with the idea in principle.”
Given Labour is still pumping out ‘jobs first Brexit’ nonsense it’s clear they blinded themselves to the reality of Brexit long before.
”Yes, sometime in the mid 1970’s, for sure.”
When your blindfold arrives be sure to book a surgery with your MP and then tie it on your noggin’.
What you can’t see, or refuse to see, can’t hurt you. Much. Well, maybe just a little. Actually. It could take your arm off.
Go blind for Brexit and help make a success of it.