YOU’VE GOT TO FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO PARTY: Covid schmovid. What’s the point of being in charge of the rules if you can’t use them to your advantage? It’s the main reason why people become MPs.
The current crop of Tory MPs are a case in point. There is no act so depraved, so corrupt, so hypocritical that will prevent them from defending it to the hilt.
Now the infamous illegal Downing Street party has come under scrutiny. As ever, sacrificial lambs have been despatched to all major news outlets to defend the indefensible.
“Why did officials at Downing Street think it was a good idea to throw a party, while prohibiting them for everyone else?” asked every interviewer across the land.
Most prevaricated, and wheeled out some bollocks about not being there, because it didn’t happen. But one bright spark, angling for a promotion no doubt, had a genuine answer.
“There’s a very simple answer, and this is it,” announced Tory MP Will Yubelievit. “Rules are rules, and the rule is that the only legal party is a Conservative party. You will find the relevant legislation in due course.”
“The rules, at that point, stated that there should be no gatherings,” persisted the interviewer. “No parties, nothing. What do you say to all the people who made sacrifices for the good of everyone else?”
“We all know that the virus respects a convivial fraternal spirit,” said Yubelievit. “This is known to exist only in the highest echelons of the Conservative Party. The virus respects the rules and the authority of the land. It’s known as following the science.”
Ten Downing Street refused to confirm or deny Yubelievit’s claim. But you can bet your bottom dollar that they wanted to take credit for it.
Christmas is saved. The simple solution is to join a Conservative party. Immunity from rules, responsibilities and covid will follow.