THE DEVIL MAKES WORK FOR IDLE HANDS TO DO: Tory MPs are revolting. The mere suggestion that they should put in 35 hours of honest hard work representing the people who elected them has been greeted by howls of outrage.
It’s as if the idea that a wealthy chap is obliged to actually earn their income is anathema to our MPs. Especially the ones who claim to be working night and day.
The same world beating drones are now claiming to have discovered some principles. Or at least realised that they won’t be comfortable on the take in full view of the nation.
“It’s a flaming liberty, that’s what it is!” spluttered outraged backbencher Billy O’Nair. “Being an MP was supposed to be a cushy number! Safe seat, show your face every now and then, keep your head down, don’t rock the boat, rack up the directorships. A few phone calls, lunch, golf, a couple more zeroes on the bank balance. That’s what Eton and Oxford prepare you for!”
What objection do you have to doing the job you are paid to do?
“Oh, don’t be so ridiculous!” scoffed O’Nair. “Everyone knows that being an MP is just a perk to compensate for being crap at the law. Plenty of status and contacts. Cheap food and drink. Opportunities to bullshit for England. Bit of pocket money. It’s a doss job, it’s just a chance to grease the wheels. Work? WORK?! Only idiots work! It’s a disgrace, an outrage! Well I’m not standing for it, I’m not going to be made a fool of, plenty more ways to coin it in out of the public eye.”
How dare the ordinary citizens of this great country demand that their representatives actually represent them. It’s no wonder MPs are lining up to resign in protest.