MOLOTOV COCKTAIL DEAD CAT : IDIOTS and UNPATRIOTIC TYPES can NOT BE FORGIVEN for BELIEVING that the country’s empty petrol stations are a source of concern for 10 Downing Street.
“It’s the opposite,” a source inside 10 Downing Street TOLD LCD Views. “It’s a real and tangible benefit. And the timing couldn’t be more perfect. I mean have you looked around you? Talk about a multi-catastrofuck. The entire country is going down the pan because we got Brexit done. Thank God for the fuel crisis! That’s really focused minds.”
Focused minds and taken them away (temporarily) from all the other crisis now ongoing.
“We’ve got the pandemic still raging which is now essentially democide in the form of interpretive governance dance. We’ve got the food supply chain difficulties that pre-existed the petrol crisis. We’ve got an NHS waiting lists crisis because we wanted the public to take the virus on the chin. This is because none of us understand economics. Forget about seeing a dentist. Trash piling up in the streets in Kent. That’s the bits we haven’t carparked for Brexit. We got a gas crisis. A burnt down connector to France crisis that no one is bothering to wonder about. Phew! An international credibility crisis. We’re just hoping if we ignore NI that it will go away. The Scots ready to leave the country which means parking the nukes in the Thames. A crisis of food poverty because we’ve spent over a decade deliberately creating poverty by policy. Ministers routinely breaking the law, but thankfully getting away with it. Racists unhappy because we’re not placing naval mines into the Channel. But we still need to bait them after spending years grooming them. And on top of all of this we still have to save Christmas. Which means finding a way to get turkeys to market after we’ve made it illegal for the workers trained to do it to come to Blighty. What fuel crisis? That’s the wrong question. Thank god for the fuel crisis!”
It couldn’t come at a better time.