THERE IS A WAY TO HAVE NICE THINGS : 10 Downing Street is refusing to comment this morning on the growing clamour for Prime Minister Boris Johnson to stand aside and allow the English football team to takeover. Although comment is expected later this afternoon when the PM wakes up, but only after he has had his late breakfast and long lunch.
There have been growing calls within the United Kingdom since last summer for the change, after Marcus Rashford successfully reversed the free school meals policy for deprived children not once, but numerous times.
Whether or not Mr Rashford would wish to take the role of Prime Minister is not yet clear, even though it is a highly popular option. Perhaps the current English football team manager Gareth Southgate will be preferred for the role by his team. This would leave Mr Rashford free to choose from cabinet positions, with most assuming he could combine the roles of Home Secretary and Education Secretary without too much difficulty.
English football fans will be happy to know though that there are no calls for the reverse. In the event of the Johnson government being replaced with the English football team, the English football team will not be replaced with the Johnson government.
“We’re not talking about going back to the bad old days of English football,” one insider said, “where people constantly hoped for a world beating performance, were promised it, but continually let down by a bunch of booze and drug addled lads finding their extramarital affairs splashed all over the tabloids. The Johnson government will continue to fulfil that role in or out of office.”
It is expected Prime Minister Boris Johnson will resist the calls to hand power to the footballers, before belatedly claiming it as his own idea once he sees how popular it is with the public.