LETTING KIDS RIP : Researchers are watching avidly as the U.K. government’s top secret medical experiment on the entirety of English state school children gathers pace.
While not officially acknowledged as government policy it’s believed the UK’s government has just decided to “sort the wheat from the chaff” of English kids and let the virus have its merry way with them. Oh and also, “Boris is bored of the pandemic now and just wants it over with, like one of his marriages. So let the bodies pile high again and see who wins the race? The vaccine or the virus.”
“Chicken pox and measles parties were good enough in my day,” said one 10 Downing Street eugenicist, “and cooking my brain with a fever at dangerous temperatures for days while young didn’t do me any harm. You just have to look at me to see that. So there’s minimal risk to British youth, except the ones who get long term damage. But that’s a part of growing up. At least emotionally, in my direct experience.”
But non-government researchers suspect there maybe long term consequences that Mr Johnson and the other “batshit crazy, irresponsible shithouses currently ruining the U.K.” haven’t fully thought through.
“Arrogance and a sense of endless entitlement allow you to do many things that harm others to satisfy yourself,” Professor Doctor Doctor told LCD Views, “you just have to look at Brexit to see the results of that. We’re hopeful that this fascist feeling experiment on the nation’s schoolchildren may have a positive long term impact.”
Namely a distinct aversion to voting Tory when they grow up and look back to a childhood disrupted unnecessarily for several years by a “hamfisted, pseudo science approach combined with profiteering off a pandemic with scant regard to the human cost by the old Etonian sect.”