LOOK UP IN THE SKY IT’S BREXIT BENEFITS : The residents of Kent are rightfully proud to have added the new title of “England’s Carpark” to the boring old one that was “The Garden of England”.
All you have to do now to see the justification of the new handle is drive on the motorways of Kent and look for the signs to the Inland Customs Facilities which have sprung up like a tribute to a bygone, and more wholesome age.
It is fair to say too that without the good people of Thanet dutifully returning joke MEP candidate Nigel Farage to the EU Parliament, undemocratic election after undemocratic election, Brexit may not even have happened. So it’s right they are benefiting before everyone else.
“It’s been a building boom,” a local resident, whose flower bed now provides temporary homes for trucks, told LCD Views. “Thankfully all the building is flat concrete so it is not obscuring the views.”
The views are important day and night. Happily near half of the Kent electricity supply is now consumed just illuminating the lorry parks after dark.
”This is when the problems start,” the resident did admit. “Sometimes whoever is responsible for turning on the banks of floodlights is a little slow to flick the switch and we almost lose sight of the banks of lorries and trucks. It’s not good enough. I blame the EU of course.”
Others are also upset because apparently stars no longer exist in the Kent sky at night.
Mercifully Downing Street has been alerted and has become alarmed. Morale in the Carpark of England is not taken for granted, even if they now have the distinction of the Kent Access Border Permits. A distinction you have to go as far as Northern Ireland to best.
“We’re taking steps to cheer everyone up,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “Clearly the PM has no plans to resume a closer trading position with our nearest neighbours. Quite the reverse. But he’s got just the thing to cheer up patriots.”
Spitfire flypasts.
“From now to eternity each and every dusk a squadron of Spitfires will crisscross the Kent sky. Just look up and enjoy their fuselages lit up by the Lorry Park lights and enjoy the patriotic purr of the powerful engines.”
Which is nice.