Boris and Dom to meet and decide on three word slogan for their public fight

FIGHT LIKE RATS : THE UK’S JOINT SOVEREIGNS, BORIS JOHNSON AND DOMINIC CUMMINGS, have begun to have a very public falling out. You have probably noticed.

While most believed that Dom’s dramatic exit from Downing Street late last year was just the latest wheeze between the power couple, others suspected it was at the behest of the then incoming White House administration and Boris Johnson was just following orders.

“It was. Biden/Harris and the whole team loathe Johnson and Cummings. They were going to be too busy to order Johnson to fire himself but it wasn’t much work to get Johnson to fire Dom. And then wait for Dom’s god complex to curdle into seeking vengeance.”

And seeking vengeance Cummings clearly now is. Many still mistake the current public outbursts as just more dead cats, but given the content of the dead cats…well, branding them with revelations of potential lawbreaking in order to distract seems not the genius Mr Cummings is so famous for (in his own lunchbox and on his own blog).

That is not to say all principles of solid Johnson/Cummings governance are being thrown out of the window. Any major public event clearly needs a three word slogan or what’s the point of it?

“They’re going to meet in the Rose Garden and decide what slogan to choose,” the source reveals. “Dom is said to favour ‘Dom means Dom’ but that’s too egocentric for Boris who is said to want to push it out to five words and use ‘For Whom The Dom Tolls’. That’s no good either, clearly, as the focus is still on Cummings. When Johnson sobers up he’ll realise it and start again.”

The public are sure to have their own ideas. Liar versus Liar is already popular. And you can be certain that many more will be suggested as the handbags at dawn play out.

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