BACK TO WORK BOYS AND GIRLS : John Bercow is reportedly sipping on some warm honey currently as he prepares his robust vocal chords to go back to work bringing “ORDEEEER!” to the mother of parliamentary democracy.
The preparation is a result of the Supreme Court ruling 11-0 that Boris Johnson, Jacob Rees-mogg and Andrea Leadsom lied to the Queen.
Prorogation of parliament was thus unlawful and did not happen (even though it did, but legally it didn’t, of course it’s not straightforward, it’s Brexit). Back to work in both chambers very soon.
“He’s going to really give it some welly,” our imagined Bercow aide says, “he’s bouncing about his chambers like Charlie holding that ticket to the Chocolate Factory. He can’t wait. Just think of it, those Tory MPs slinking back into the chamber? Boris Johnson wondering whether or not to apply for political asylum in New York? It’s really quite delicious.”
And to rub salt into the Brexit wounds, the judges have ruled that it’s parliament and the speakers (both houses) who decide what happens now, not the pale faced, bed hopping, blonde buffoon.
At least we can take comfort in knowing that Boris Johnson still counts Donald Trump as a friend. And with friends like those…
“It’s a good thing all those champions of Brexit made parliamentary sovereignty such a high priority. They can’t complain about its triumph over a wannabe, tin pot charlatan temporarily occupying the rooms of 10 Downing Street,” the aide added, “and especially that there’s highly skilled and principled people like Gina Miller to marshal the legal eagles to the defence of our democracy.”
ORDEEER! Get back on that plane Boris Johnson. You’re out of order and you’re required back in the lower chamber very, very soon.