OFFSIDE : The Government has no need to split the chicken to get at its entrails, roll the knuckles or throw the runes this morning to find additional signs that they need to get on and deliver Brexit. Football has sent a sign.
“Liverpool’s win over Barcelona is a message to get on and deliver Brexit,” a diehard fan of Brexit (two home grounds – 10 Downing Street and Labour Party HQ) told LCD Views this morning, “it’s God. He sent the message. It’s as clear as a blazing football shaped comet in the sky. Who would have thought a win like this possible? Did someone lock Messi in a cupboard? What happened? It can only mean one thing. Get on and deliver Brexit.”
The interpretation of sporting drama, leading to a dramatic and well deserved English victory over the EU (clearly that’s who Liverpool were playing) in the Champion’s League, being taken as a sign to get on and deliver Brexit is in line with recent policy.
“The policy is to see any event, no matter how seemingly unrelated or opposing, as a sign to get on and deliver Brexit,” the fan added, “it’s all we’ve left now that we don’t have the voters. Both government and official opposition spokesmen will sing it from the hymn sheet today.”
To celebrate Downing Street has ordered the weaving of a massive tapestry displaying the build up to the Champion’s League semi and all the dramatic goals scored in it.
“That’s a bit embarrassing though,” the fan winced, “they’ve hired a French firm to weave it.”