BREAKING NEWS – Theresa May postponed until further notice

In a shock move Monday, UK Prime minister Theresa May announced that she was postponing herself until further notice due to rumours of her increasing unpopularity.

A spokesman for 10 Downing Street confirmed that Mrs May had taken the shock decision following consultations with her cabinet, none of whom actually agreed to speak with her.

“It was a very tough decision to make, but the Prime Minister feels that by putting herself on ice and buggering off somewhere less wintery for Xmas will help cool thing s down allowing her to phase herself back in to a warmer reception over the coming months,” he said, denying that by postponing herself Mrs May was in any way disrespecting parliament or the democratic process.

“They’ve disrespected her by not backing her brilliant Brexit plan, more like,” he sneered.

The official declined to confirm whether the prime ministerial postponement might last past March 29th when, on current standing, the UK is due to crash out of the European Union without a trade agreement.

“Let’s just say that if it did a lot of people from both sides of the Brexit debate will be wishing they’d given a warmer response to her Brexit deal, oh yes indeed,” he sniggered, fingering his newly acquired Irish passport.

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