On his first tour of Ireland Pope Francis has sent shockwaves through the Emerald Isle, and the Catholic world in general, by announcing plans to have Shane MacGowan, the still pretty much living lead singer of anglo-Irish folk-punk band,The Pogues, declared a saint.
In a brief communiqué, written in the traditional Latin, the Vatican announced : “In nómine Patris, et Fílii, Spíritus Sancti, Osculer oro asini sepelietur, cantori, benedictum Shane MacGowan, favorabiles erunt et cetera virus sanctus.”
Explaining the shock move Vatican PLC’s Ireland ’18 tour manager, Monsigneur Dick O’Dell, pointed out that the Pope has long been a huge Pogues fan, having discovered them through their seminal third album “If I Should Fall from Grace with God”.
“His Holiness genuinely feels that with Shane having lived so close to the edge for so long he’d better give him the recognition he deserves before he ups and joins Kirsty McColl for a duet in the celestial choir ,” he said explaining that with no Vatican equivalent of the Brit Awards or the ‘Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame‘, it was pretty much sainthood or shoot the craic over a gargle in the Sistine.
“His holiness felt Shane deserved more than that. I mean they’ve been on first name terms for years – Shane gets to call him Frank, which is more than any of his employees do.. ” he added.
However O’Dell explained that as ever, there has to be some give and take and that in return for the absolutely unprecedented honour of living sainthood, Pope Frank, does have one small favour to ask.
Namely that before Saint Shane of Mahonia, gets to don his wings and halo, the Pogues record a cover of “Who Knows Where The Time Goes” he said, referring to the song written and made famous by the already late, Sandy Denny, and explaining that as a Brit, a prod and a hippie, Denny isn’t herself eligible for any Vatican honours.
“It’s an absolute Papal fave, and his holiness feels that only Shane and the lads could possibly add anything to the original,” he explained, pointing out that with Papal backing it would be nailed on to be a Christmas number one.
“And without any fookin’ swearing like that “Fairytale” song o’ theirs,” he laughed.