Oysters living in beds on the briny beach have abandoned efforts to halt their being taken for a “walk up the beach” by the Walrus and the Carpenter following “significant” concessions made by the Carpenter.
“We have received the personal assurances from the Carpenter that she will agree to the broad thrust of our proposals for a “meaningful vote” on both the planned walk up the beach, and also on the potential use of pepper and vinegar,” said a spokesman for the rebel oysters, Gromonic Dieve.
Confirming that talks on ancillary agreements concerning the issue of “seas and ships and sealing wax” had been successfully concluded, he added that a deal over “cabbages and kings” was imminent but that some differences still remained concerning “why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings”, which he was sure could be ironed out without unnecessary unpleasantness.
Commenting briefly on the agreement, the Carpenter said only that it was “A matter of trust”, but declined to rule out the possible future introduction of bread and butter into the proceedings.
However, despite the assurances offered by the Carpenter, the Walrus appeared to rule out backing the oyster’s consultation plan.
“Oyster walking is a constitutional issue. You cannot have crustaceans dictating policy to mammals,” he said sternly.
“We held a referendum between the two of us which returned a clear unanimous majority in favour of continuing the walk on our own terms. We cannot, and indeed should not allow our principles to be overturned; ” he added.
Having expressed their contentment with the Carpenter’s assurances Dieve confirmed that he and his fellow rebel oysters had, as agreed, brushed their coats, washed their faces and donned neat, clean shoes, but requested a degree of leeway over the speed of peregrination due to corpulence factors beyond their control.
“Some of us are out of breath, and all of us are fat,” he pointed out, thanking the Carpenter for her consideration in allowing them more time to “hop through the frothy waves” and “scramble to the shore” before setting off at a “gentle trot”.
Efforts by reporters to contact the oysters following their walk, to confirm compliance by the Walrus and Carpenter with the pre-agreed conditions, were unfortunately unsuccessful.
Speaking to LCD views, the Walrus confirmed that all the oysters had indeed enjoyed a pleasant run but had unanimously declined to return to their bed.
“We did offer them to chance to trot off home again but none responded to our offer,” he said licking a stray blob of butter from his tusk.