Calculator owners warned they are at risk of attack by Brexiters

The Home Office has disowned an assessment leaked to LCD Views that warns calculator owners are at increased risk of attack by Brexiters as Global Britain moves forward united behind  Brexit.

The assessment, written in Times New Roman, font size 18, is believed to have been prepared to assist DExEU.

”The Home Office really only has one thing to do now and that’s intimidate Johnny foreigners. They’ve a bit of spare capacity so Rudd ruddy Rudd thoughtfully she’d throw a bone David Davis’ way,” our home office spy says.

”It probably wasn’t leaked officially because the action of so called ‘ultra Brexiters’ in the party of government this week shows that calculator owners are now a target for attack anyway.”

The targeting of people who do sums with a modern invention and then write the results down and disseminate them follows a trend visible since 2016.

”The owning of a number counting machine links all the individuals, groups and institutions targeted by Brexit headcases.

The civil service joins a list already comprising of politicians opposed to national economic suicide, voters opposed too, any campaign group opposed too, judges, Gina Miller and anyone not born on this Emerald Isle.

”It’s classic tyrant strategy. Undermine the institutions and champions of democracy and then when public support is shattered stage a coup of all under the guise of the protector and corrector.

But targeting the civil service is a move that shows how little regard Brexit proponents have for history.

Even a brief study of the documentary series “Yes Minister” will teach you the civil service will f*ck you up.”

Arise Sir Humphrey, you’re time to strike is nigh.

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