CARRY ON HENRYING : Downing Street have taken a decisive step backwards to drive Global Britain forwards with the creation of a new public holiday.
Work has been ongoing for sometime now to determine which British achievements to celebrate with a day off for everyone, except the NHS and care workers. It was decided that the best way to promote a renewed sense of being British would be to pick one of our Great British monarchs, and celebrate their greatest achievements.
“We narrowed the choice down to one of the Henry’s,” a 10 Downing Street source says. “From there it was just following the PM’s order to choose the one who most wound up the French! Ha! Jolly good japes.”
The first Agincourt Day will be held on this year’s anniversary of the 24th of October and involve local fairs and pageants across Britain.
“Wife sales. Ducking stools. Bear baiting. Witch trials. Bubonic plague. Mass execution of peasants after a failed peasant revolt. All the great features of traditional 15th Century British culture will be celebrated and renewed. And with Union Flag bunting!”
Free DVD’s of the day will be shipped to France, as soon as someone can work out how to export them.
“It’s really going to promote a sense of national unity. Everyone needs to laugh and cheer and hate the Continent. It’s how we’ll capitalise on the opportunities of Brexit.”
To really make the day memorable too actors will be employed to replicate Henry V’s death from the runs after he’d secured France for his descendants.
“That will be the most Brexit part of Agincourt Day. Be sure to bring the kids. And if like the PM you tire of your wife easily, why not bring her along and sell her for someone else’s? Tory MPs especially are going to see that aspect is a tour de force.”
Agincourt Day – Get involved and feel truly British!