BOTTOMS UP : Several minor problems are to be crossed off the UK’s to-do list this week now that the beer supply crisis has finally arrived.
There were concerns that the German Automotive Sector would have to be blamed for the staffing issues in the UK’s world leading hospitality sector, but thankfully the supply chain crisis has intervened to spare their blushes.
Wetherspoons is the first to feel the burn of a loss of beer with the karma police arresting Tim Martin late last night. Other prominent, private sector Brexiters will presumably follow in what has been reported as the worst case of “joint enterprise” seen in the UK for a very long time.
Downing Street is upbeat over the beer shortage, confident that so long as the majority of the UK media continue to spin and support Mr Johnson the polling will hold steady. Further encouragement is taken from the official opposition’s vow of silence on Brexit at the leadership level, because validating Brexit worked out even better for former leader Jeremy Corbyn, than agreeing for the need for austerity worked out for the leader before him. Worked out for the Tories that is. The inability to understand the need to tackle the incumbents on highly contentious issues does help explain why Labour has only been in power for 20 of the last 100 years. Steady as she goes. The face eating leopard party thanks you for your political naivety.
“Workers in the hospitality industry were in short supply and high demand,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “Happily now there is no food and no drink to serve to patrons, so the businesses can close and the workers go and train to be HGV drivers. This shows you how we will easily navigate Brexit. Much in the way of a debt junky using new credit cards to pay off old with the amount borrowed rapidly increasing to unsustainable levels and bankruptcy.”
The public are reassured though that there is currently no risk to the supply of food and drink at the Palace of Westminster and their elective representatives will be able to access subsidised, high quality food and alcohol even while their catastrophic failures see them enjoying summer holidays abroad.