FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT : THE USA’S MOST FAMOUS REALITY TV STAR, DONALD TRUMP, HAS BEEN SHOWERED WITH ACCOLADES SINCE REPRISING HIS CAREER DEFINING ROLE OF PLAYING POTUS. AND THERE’S NO SIGN THE GONGS ARE GOING TO STOP.
Today, the world famous football association, FIFA, have announced they have awarded The Don their first ever ‘Best Actor in a Leading Role’ Academy Award for Trump’s most recent stage outing in ‘Assassination Attempt 3’.
While US cinematic output is dominated by sequels, prequels, dredquels, blaaquels and the like, few modern actors are able to put the same base energy into playing the same character twice, thrice, and presumably forice before long.
“There was only really one candidate for our first ever Academy Award of Best Actor in a Leading Role,” FIFA AI press bot told LCD Views. “I can’t think of anyone who has put more of himself into such dramatic scenes as The Don. And the writing was first class. To pivot from almost certain death to espousing the need for a ballroom? It’s no wonder Zelenskyy isn’t in the running for one of our awards. Has he even said once that what Ukraine needs in its time of crisis is a giant marble and gold building specifically for the exclusive use of his country’s ruling elite? Really, what an amateur. But Donald Trump? He has wiped the floor with the earlier contestant, Stanislavsky adherent Abe Lincoln, and that wannabe method actor RFK.”
The award itself will be presented to Mr Trump in a special Oval Office ceremony before the commencement of the 2026 FIFA World Cup.
“We can’t wait for our own sequel to the Peace Prize to be televised,” FIFA bot exclaimed, “Why should those woke mind virus dying institutions like the Nobel Committee and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences be the only ones that give out their prizes? It’s just another example of how The Don is working in the interests of hardworking Americans.”
Fair point. And what award will you bestow on Mr Trump after this Academy Award?
“We’re still a little concerned he might immediately lock up in an ICE detention camp most of the participants and visitors to the US for the World Cup, so we’re thinking of giving him next the Financial Times Innovative Lawyers Europe Award (2024).”