AND THE MAN AT THE BACK SAID EVERYONE ATTACK: Finally. This is why “President” “Lumpy” Trump wants that ballroom. He wants to stage a weekly Ballroom Blitz.
It was like lightning, everybody was frightning. The panic! at the disco was so well acted out, that the obvious conclusion was in doubt for a moment. Then reality kicked in. Why oh why would Lumpy want to stage a distraction from his unpopularity, rampant inflation, public fraud, monumental lying, a stupid war being fought for stupid reasons led by Mr Stupid, and Epstein?
Oh.
It was electric, so frantically hectic, like the building work. At the current rate of progress, the brand new ballroom will be ready in 2099. (Although Lumpy has already pocketed the kickbacks from the deal.) Just in time for Lumpy’s 20th term celebrations. They will wheel him out, like a fake-tanned Davros, to yell “Exterminate!” as his goons clear the room in accordance with tradition.
It’s been getting so hard, living with the things you do to me. So to bolster his rapidly waning approval ratings, MAGA must act. The lower the ratings, the higher the frequency of the Blitzes. Once a week, every week, until even the hardcore MAGA fanboys start to have doubts. Blame the Democrats, move on. Rinse, repeat, until even Nigel Farage takes notice and fakes his own death in order to get elected.
And the girl in the corner said ’Boy I wanna warn ya, it’ll turn into a Ballroom Blitz’. Karoline Leavitt, in the Red corner, said so herself. We know she always tells the truth. The degree of prophecy in this administration is phenomenal. The only piece missing is news that Trump placed a bet on there being an assassination attempt.
And the band started leaving ‘cause they all stopped breathing. And here we are. Sweet.