WE’RE NOT RACISTS BUT : The UK has cut a decisive path for itself since allowing Nigel Farage to decide its entire policy platform and future. As such a refugee crisis involving largely white people from Europe has proven a most unhelpful event.
“We’ve gained power by activating a deep racist undercurrent in UK society,” a spokesman for 10 Downing Street told LCD Views. “Who can recall the day Nigel Farage revealed his famous Breaking Point poster in the EU referendum campaign back in 2016 and not understand how we got to where we are? And more importantly, how the PM got to be PM in the first place. Recent events in Europe are really unhelpful. It’s incredibly tricky to navigate.”
Luckily for the current administration there is a swathe of famous individuals taking to the airways to explain that this war is different because the refugees are white and so it’s not confusing. Therefore there’s no disconnect to our attitude to Europeans needing assistance en masse and the different approach often taken to people from further away.
“There is still a lot of unwelcome pressure to do more on refugees though,” the source explains. “It’s a bit of a pickle. You have hand chosen Tory MPs selected because they were prepared to endorse Brexit, a deeply racist project with an underbelly that is all hatred of foreigners and here they are demanding we help foreigners? It’s not on really. We got Brexit done. We got it done knowing that the man behind the Breaking Point poster was one of its spiritual architects. But now we’re supposed to let people back in? WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THAT ABOUT? We just don’t get it.”
But to help explain the apparent inability of the UK government to match the swift action of other European states the PM is going to personally make an example of himself.
“Mr Johnson will unveil a new edition of Mr Farage’s Breaking Point poster outside 10 Downing Street today and stand next to it beaming,” the source says. “This way everyone will know why it’s really hard to let anyone into the country and hope to maintain a poll lead.”