Boris Johnson uses himself as an example of a low skilled immigrant ruining Britain

KNOW THYSELF : The UK’s Prime Minister Boris Johnson is not content to rest on his laurels of one of the world’s worst pandemic responses, he’s also after the very fabric out of which the country is woven.

Immigrants. We all know they’re bad. They’ve been bad since they arrived and threw up all those stone structures we take so much pride in, they’ve been bad since they taught us to farm, they were bad when they came and made roads and toilets, bad when they arrived to lay down the foundations of the country in successive waves over centuries and especially bad when they made everyone speak French for a while. Boris Johnson knows this. You know this. From imported Dutch and German kings, when we couldn’t manufacture our own, and all the way to the Queen marrying a Greek man. Immigrants! What have they ever done for us? Apart from fish and chips. Oh, and then we went and conquered half of them and brought home enough loot to create the British Museum.

None of that thought compares though to the damage actually done by Britain’s most famous immigrant right now.

“It takes one to know one,” Mr Johnson told the Conservative Party Conference earlier today. An audience with many heavy hitters. A lot of them the children of immigrants. Which makes all the immigrant hating for votes especially confusing.

“Yes some immigrants come over here and drive trucks and what not, but that is nothing compared to the damage the most celebrated immigrant is currently doing. Dismantling the country so fast if he wasn’t a Russian asset he may as well be one. Or North Korean! Why not the Manchurian Candidate? Same difference. Look at the wreckage.”

Boris Johnson was of course talking about Boris Johnson. He’s the exception to the rule (of law).

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