CAN WE STILL BLAME THE EU : Downing Street is set to flex its intellectual muscles against India after the later decided to prioritise its own citizens ahead of the people who civilised it.
“Bloody ungrateful” was heard flying about the seat of English global power, along with “and after all the tigers we shot for them too?”
Vaccine nationalism is the latest plague to strike the planet, along with darned clever science boffins inventing plague vaccines before anyone had time to scale up production for it.
“Quite why India thinks it can treat us like this is beyond me?” a baffled 10 Downing Street source commented. “Boris was going to send Modi a papier-mâché cricket bat he made too. A gesture of goodwill and all that. In advance of Liz Truss inviting him to take a weight off his mind and rejoin the British Empire.
There’s fears Queen Elizabeth II, or Empress of India, may have to get involved if the distant colony doesn’t do what’s best for Britain.
“Why can’t they follow our example and put Britain first? We basically civilised them and by the time we left, in short order they had three whole new, happy countries where once there was barely even one.”
Other countries limiting export of vaccinations to the U.K. does seem to be a theme and one that is causing no little amount of ill will.
“We gave them railways. What did they ever do for us?” the source wanted to know. “Just some shiny stones, a national cuisine, millions of men for our armed forces over centuries. This and that. We drew the lines on the maps! It’s a bit rum for them to now stop OUR vaccines from crossing them just to favour their own citizens.”
But all is not lost.
“We can still blame the EU. We will get the Mail, Express and Telegraph to claim India is about to join the trading bloc and this is just more spite intended to slow down the creation of Empire 2.0. Which by the way, India is still welcome to join. It would be a shot in the arm for them. No doubt about that. We could run their railways for them again. Just like we do at home.”