FLYING HIGH : Michael Gove has a bad habit of being at the centre of class A related drug scandals recently. Ever since he was flushed out of hiding over his wild years by fellow doomed Tory leadership contender, Dominic Raab, he just can’t get enough of powdery stories.
“There’s no connection between rumours Gove was seen at the Seville airport when the back up plane for President Bolsonaro of Brazil was searched and impounded,” a fictional aide to the environment secretary told LCD Views, in a fictional interview, “Michael ‘Corleone’ Gove was in Spain on a fact finding mission related to the decision to increase VAT on solar panels to 20%. This only augments his reputation as a jolly green giant.”
A likely story. As likely as this one.
The made up denial won’t allay suspicions though that someone in Bolsonaro’s team was bringing Gove just a taste of what a free trade deal, post Brexit, with certain businessmen in South America could bring.
“39kg is clearly just someone’s personal supply,” the aide went on, “although they sound like a bit of a lightweight to me. A generous spirited individual would need a lot more due to all the sharing he would do with friends. But this is all just speculation. It’s nothing to do with Gove. He gave up Class A’s in his early 30’s to concentrate on a much more powerful drug. Power.”
We certainly wouldn’t want to fuel any rumours. But we suspect just like the abandoned use of cocaine, Gove’s addiction to power may soon be coming to an end. But what will he do then?
“Probably apply to work as an air steward on Bolsonaro’s planes. But that’s just more speculation.”