IF THE CAP FITS : Tory leadership hopeful and right wing ‘thinktank’ IEA’s pick, Matt Hancock, has taken a bold step today to allay fears he’ll just flog off the NHS even faster as PM than he is doing as Health Secretary.
”He’s gotten hold of William Hague and asked for the holy grail,” LCD Views’ Tory fly on the wall reveals, “with Hague’s hip baseball cap little Matt will be hip to the kids daddio!”
And fooling younger voters into thinking you’re not just a tool, and a front for hard right private health concerns, is key to Matt’s potential success.
”He’s already done parkour,” the fly says, “happily the filming stopped before he face planted into the pavement and broke four teeth.”
If Hague is willing to lend Hancock his cap then it’s hard to see James Cleverly or Liz Truss getting in his way.
”That just leaves everyone else. That Malthouse guy maybe a blocker for Jeremy Hunt. Little Matt will need all the cap’s magic.”
But with the youth vote looking nailed down now he only has to worry about the elder set.
”They’re a minority in the Tory Party. If he gets the cool kids onside it’s a power packed bid.”
To see if Hague will loan the cap we doorstepped him, but he saw us off with a syllable so long we couldn’t wait for the end of it.
Good luck Matt! You, and we, are going to need it whoever comes out on top of the rat pack.