SOMETHING GOV: The latest preferred prime minister poll by yougov, out today, shows a giant McDonalds milkshake is now the preferred U.K. prime minister.
”It’s undeniable,” our polling expert, Mrs North, told us over a scratchy line from the South Pole (she’s visiting a distant relative), “even accounting for margins of error, 100% can not be argued with.”
There was of course no surprise that outgoing Gorgon, Theresa May, was polling on -200%.
”That’s actually an improvement for her,” Mrs North notes, “believed to be caused by the sympathy bounce she’s enjoying since announcing that at some point this year she will eventually bugger off.”
Why official opposition leader Jeremy Corbyn was polling at 7/10 is also clear.
”Well, it’s a wishy washy return for the man who keeps calling for a GE, in spite of not yet having got the hang of being an opposition MP. But you can understand why he wants his party back in government, that’s his comfort zone, opposing Labour administrations.”
Whether or not a McDonald’s milkshake will now stand for election is not clear, but all flavours are said to be considering the poll with interest.
”None of them are in a McFlurry to run for office,” Mrs North notes, “as they seem to enjoy being part of a guerilla anti-fascist campaign, and an effective one at that. Also a necessary one, given the general failure of numerous Tory and Labour MPs to fight the rise of the hard right, but their decision to actually encourage it by pretending Brexit is either desirable or deliverable in any form, without mass damage.”
If a milkshake decides to run it can expect heavy competition from a Burger King one, with even now the rival fast food delivery service tweeting its skepticism that the McDonald’s milkshake would poll so high if yougov included a Burger King one in the questioning.
”The wheels are being greased for the milkshakes to go for high office,” Mrs North is certain, “And I wouldn’t be surprised if the best catchphrase in the imminent GE is ‘do you want fries with that?’”