LCD Views offers its readers this unique opportunity to meet and go on a pub crawl with the one and only Nigel Farage. For a single payment of only £44.99*, YOU can buy the man himself a beer and have a smug and self-righteous discussion about Brexit!
Your £44.99* buys you a full drinking kit, including an official “I had a pint with Nige!” t-shirt, packet of dry roasted peanuts, and a beer jacket.
Then simply make your way to the Wetherspoons in Sunderland (now re-Christened ‘Brexitland’) and get a round in! Your official Farage’s Pub Crawl Voucher lets you download the itinerary onto your phone via the special Brexit app. Forget all your troubles, instead allow Nigel to blame them on the EU for you!
When the cellars are dry, Nigel’s Big Red Brexit Betrayal Bus will simply take you to the next venue and the pub crawl just carries on!
Farage’s appetite for cheap, bitter beer is exceeded only by his appetite for cheap, bitter politics. However, not even Farage cannot consume the heroic amount of ale that his devoted followers will gladly buy for him. Instead, he has constructed a cunning plan.
“Whenever I can’t hold my ale, I am going to call my sidekick Tim Martin,” he explained drunkenly. “In vino veritas and all that crap, I don’t give a toss any more. I will call for my Incredibly Strong Ale and he will pass me water in a beer bottle.”
So he will pass water in a beer bottle? “His beer is like piss anyway, so what the hell,” belched Farage. “I can’t guarantee my attendance at every leg of the national pub crawl anyway, don’t forget I’ve got a radio show to do, but I will be there at the final pub, which will be a pop-up ‘Spoons in Westminster Square.”
*£44.99 is the advisory, i.e. mandatory, cost of a place on Farage’s farewell tour. Please note that the price does not include the admin fee of £39.99, postage and packing of £5.75, or beer. Please allow 28 days for delivery.
https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/brexit-march-farage-route-leave-15911145