LCD Views can report that Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn are expected to confirm later today they will sit together now in the House of Commons, after every single other MP left their parties.
“We will offer strong and stable minority government,” May will tell assembled reporters, while Corbyn nods along, “and continue to work together to deliver Brexit.”
It’s believed Mr Corbyn will add, once May has finished with a slogan (currently being drafted),
“No amount of proven lawbreaking in the 2016 referendum, no amount of suspect foreign interference, and definitely not the endless daily media cycle of mass job losses can shift my Labour Party from respecting the result of the 2016 advisory referendum.”
The trickle of MPs leaving their respective parties began earlier in the week, but rapidly turned into a flood, as even Brexiters broke away to sit as independents, as well as MPs assumed to place party loyalty above all else.
We asked our hard pressed political analyst what he makes of the situation.
“It’s the Brexit, stupid,” he said, somewhat impolitely, “it’s all about leaving unions that leverage your personal clout under some delusion that being more isolated makes you more powerful. It’s rotted away at our politics so deeply that now it’s in the individual psyches of MPs. They’re all leavers now, even of their own parties.”
No one is sure what colour May and Corbyn will choose to brand their grouping with, as blue and red make purple, and that’s already taken.
“Oh, UKIP will let them use purple, so long as they remain committed to Brexit.”
We would like to wish May and Corbyn luck as they take their seats in the House of Commons together as the last two MPs respecting the old politics of the main parties.