A new opinion poll has connected the characteristics of Leave voters and Audi drivers. From going too fast to changing direction without warning, the correlation is startling.
The findings have been eagerly seized upon by the eponymous motor manufacturer. An overwhelming majority of drivers drive an Audi, they claim, portraying their product to be the ‘Wheels of the People’.
Vote Audi teamed up with BeEmdoubleyou to cement their claim. Meanwhile Volkswagen, whose name literally means ‘the wheels of the people’, have started to remoan about the abuse of their slogan.
The survey was carried out by the North & South Poll Company, whose motto is ‘Polls apart!’. Chief data cruncher, Lee Dink-Westion, spoke to LCD Views.
“We carried out a comprehensive survey of all the Leave voters who would still admit to the fact in 2019,” explained Dink-Westion. “Coincidentally, we also carried out a survey of people who drive a certain brand of motor car. The populations had a 52% overlap, and the replies to similar questions in both surveys showed an astonishing correspondence.”
Dink-Westion gave an example. “The questions ‘Why did you vote Leave?’ and ‘Why do you drive an Audi?’ yielded almost identical responses,” he said. “In both cases, ‘Personal inadequacy’ rated very highly.”
A second example illuminated the correlation just as well. “Examine the questions ‘What does free speech mean?’ and ‘What does freedom of the highway mean?’. The answers were, ‘I say what I like’ and ‘I drive where I like’.”
Lee Dink-Westion also pointed out that both groups suffer from extreme frustration. One because Brexit talks have stalled and never really got going again, the other because so many crying snowflake motorists stick to the Highway Code. The rallying cry shared by both groups is ‘Get on with it!’
It’s official. Brexiters and Audi drivers agree that 52% = 100%. Therefore every single Brexiter drives an Audi. Shame that nobody will be able to buy one after Brexit.