World famous London tourist hot spot Madame Tussaud’s is making world headlines today after a miracle occurred with one of its world famous wax person exhibits.
”I wouldn’t call it a miracle personally,” museum curator, Ms Twoswords (clearly no relation) said, “more of a bloody nightmare. Mary crying tears of blood holding the baby Jesus is a miracle. This? This is creeping me right out.”
The nightmare miracle is focused on one of the museum’s new star exhibits.
”Every morning for a week now it’s the same. We come in and open up and there’s old blowhard Nigel with his toothbrush moustache. I was against the statue from the start. I want that on the record.”
And every morning the staff diligently, if fearfully, remove the world famous toothbrush, only to find…
”It’s back the next day. We’ve installed CCTV to see if it was the work of a prankster, but it grows on its own, unnaturally overnight, at a clearly accelerated rate.”
But surely the nightmare miracle will lead to greater footfall and increased profits?
”That’s easy for you to say, you haven’t seen it with the moustache and its arm raised in a flat palmed salute.”
It’s doing that too? Oh my God.
”I’ve said we should melt it down, but the modellers are refusing to approach it. What after it was filmed after midnight goose stepping about the museum.”
This sounds like you need to call in help and fast.
”That’s what I’ve said! It staged a book burning last night and almost burned the whole show to the ground.”
Didn’t that destroy it?
”Not a scratch. The statue next to it of Lord Haw-Haw melted some and was absorbed by it. Soaked up like a sponge.”
Couldn’t you make a new statue of this individual?
”No! The modellers used a broken mould to make this one. If we cast another it’s bound to be an even bigger blunder. I always said only giving it one ball for realism was a mistake. And we all know who else, he only had one ball…”