Corbyn and May to star in ‘Allo ‘Allo remake

It seems you can’t move for remakes of classic sitcoms these days, and now it’s the turn of ‘Allo ‘Allo, set in Nazi-occupied France and centring around cafe owner Rene and his wife Edith as they found themselves unwittingly in the middle of plots by the SS, the Gestapo and the French Resistance.

The remake will star Jeremy Corbyn as Rene, who will reprise the character’s famous catchphrase “you stupid woman!” typically uttered by Rene to his wife as he contrives an unconvincing innocent explanation for why she has just caught him in the arms of his waitress Yvette.

Rene’s wife Edith will be played by Theresa May, while Arlene Foster has been cast as Edith’s invalid mother who is forever shouting at her from her attic bedroom.

Yvette, the waitress with whom Rene will cheat on his wife at every opportunity, will be played by Nicola Sturgeon, while Angela Merkel will be taking on the role of resistance leader Michelle with her catchphrase, “listen very carefully, I shall say this only once.”

The part of Officer Crabtree, the Englishman disguised as a French policeman whose attempts to speak the language are frequently unintelligible, as typified by his catchphrase “good moaning” will be played by Donald Trump.

Nigel Farage will play Colonel Von Strohm, the German officer in charge of the occupying army garrison, while the part of his boss General Von Klinkerhoffen has been given to Vladimir Putin.

Rounding off the ensemble cast will be Paul Golding as Herr Flick of the Gestapo, who is again having an affair with the colonel’s secretary Helga, played here by Jayda Fransen.

The new series will hit our screens on April 1st 2019.

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