Honesty is not the best policy for a policy maker. A minister of the crown has been sacked for giving a straight answer to a straight question.
Anything is believable in this Parliament of Batshit Crazies, so long as it is unbelievable. Ministers have resigned over the truth before, never has one been removed from office because of it.
Work & Pensions minister Liza Faluzers is the minister in question. The question in question was, “Do you agree that poverty in the UK is a political decision?” The answer in question was “Yes”.
Her erstwhile boss, the resurrected Amber Rudd, had attacked the recent UN poverty report. Going on a charmless offensive, she dismissed the report on the grounds that she “didn’t like its tone”. In other words, it was direct and strongly worded. “It was totally unacceptable,” said Rudd’s mouthpiece Wat Awopper. “Our true motives must never be revealed.”
Faluzers made the admission that sealed her fate on BBC Question Time. At the end of the show she was whisked away to Number Ten to receive her P45.
“I was shocked!” Faluzers told LCD Views. “I went into politics to make a difference to people’s lives, to uphold their rights and fight their corner in parliament. The government is working against the people, in the interests of money hoarders. Brexit is part of the plan. And, by the way, Brexit is monumentally f***ing stupid.”
The event is set to send seismic waves through the Conservative Party. Are you, or have you ever been, honest? Lie detectors are being deployed, and anyone who can beat one will be expelled from the party.
Faluzers’ constituency, Pants-on-Fyre, has deselected her.
“It is a great shame”, remarked Amber Rudd. “We have lost an able team member and friend.” The lie detector buzzed reassuringly.
Meanwhile, cabinet meetings have been abandoned as nobody can hear over the racket made by the lie detectors.