Global Britain’s children have spoken with one voice today to say how ecstatic they are about fighting to get back freedom of movement after Brexit.
The loss of freedom of movement for UK citizens (without EU27 spouses or the massive amount of cash needed to buy a second nationality, say, like a wealthy Brexiter does) is one of the main gains of prime minister Theresa May’s Brexit negotiating strategy.
“It’s mintox to the max!” A Generic-Young-Person told LCD View’s Down wit Youff correspondent,
“it’s like totally worth it. To have the only tangible benefit of the Brexit process being that UK citizens are stripped of the FOM right to about thirty countries, and dozens of countries are stripped of it in one, just so the UK’s political leaders can tell foreigners to jog on mate, Global Britain don’t like your type yeah, I mean what a win. We’re winners. Totally. We’re not racists, but…”
Other youth were also mad with joy about it.
“The EU is racist yeah,” A Lexit-Child chipped in, “it like totally bars us from letting someone from the developing world come to the UK. We have to give all our jobs to Europeans. The EU forces us to keep out people outside of the bloc. They’re just vile. I’ll be happy stuck at home watching the job I can’t do, because education is undervalued and underinvested in by the UK government, and now thanks to tuition fees, out-priced for many, I’ll be happy watching that job go to someone from anywhere but an EU country while I queue to say there is no damn way I’m picking fruit, it’s beneath me.”
Ms May is certain to be buoyed by the outpouring of support for her Brexit deal by the country’s young.
“It’s great,” A Sober-Teen said, “you read about the civil rights movements of the 60’s and think, damn, what have we got to fight for? Now, with Brexit, we can fight to get back not only our parliamentary democracy, so obviously corrupted by kleptocratic cash, but also that giant mountain of rights the old shits running both Cons and Labour took away from us as they fought to impose savage ideology on us and keep us bloody well at home to do it.”
But it’s not really a fair fight or level playing field. As it’s damn certain any millionaire backing Brexiter will just buy their kids a burgundy passport.
“That’ll just fire me up more, seeing accident of birth in action, as rich Tory kids swan off to jobs on the continent while I’m shouting ‘Dennis, there’s some lovely filth down here!’. I’m well up for it. It’s the way Britain is supposed to be. Surface appearance of equality and class system all the way underneath.”