SACRE BLUR : LCD Views can report today on a completely ignored clause in Theresa Mayhem’s draft Withdrawal Agreement with the fishing superpower the EU. The fishy agreement came into force already, being legally non-dependent on the WA being passed, and having been overlooked by Boris Johnson’s non-government.
“While all the usual pundits and rent-a-gobs were banging on about automanufacturing and the much salivated end of FOM for U.K. nationals to 27 countries, and 500M suckers to one country, no one has paid much attention to Clause 101.B-666A3, paragraph 97.1, which deals with the reciprocal legal rights and obligations governing nomadic, nation state wildlife,” Professor A Lawyer said, “and this is a win for the ultra-nationalists currently governing the U.K. Be in no doubt.”
For it seems within the scandalously ignored clause is detail as to how British fish, caught by Frenchmen, are to be extradited back to mainland U.K. and tried for treason.
”All British fish are fully aware that while they may swim into waters once controlled by Britannia, in the time of our control by the Normans, they must return to British waters to be caught. To be caught by a foreign net is essentially treason. The U.K. is pulling out of the joint extradition treaty with the EU, so they have to keep any of our OAP criminals on the Costa del Sol, but an exception has been made specifically for fish.”
The exception itself was a chief demand of the Prime Minister.
”From the 30th March 2019 any proper British fish caught by a Frenchman will be extradited to face justice at home.”
Trials will be held in the Old Bailey and should take less than a week to conduct.
”Capital punishment will be the sentence for all British fish guilty of treason.”
But how will the fish survive out of water to stand in the dock?
”They’ll just have to hold their breath after Brexit,” our legal eagle shrugged, “just like the rest of us.”