The Romans built an empire on it. With fuel shortages looking likely after Brexit, foresighted people are buying horses. Lord Tebbit has already been quoted as saying “Get on yer horse!”
The Prime Minister, by the grace of God (by which we mean, there but for the grace of God), is looking on the bright side of Brexit as usual. Not satisfied with longing nostalgically for the glories of wartime deprivation, she reminds us that we also survived hundreds of years of Roman occupation.
“It could be a lot worse,” she croaked, at a hastily convened press conference in an empty stable. The horse had bolted a long time previously.
“What did the Romans ever do for us?” she continued, pressing home her disadvantage. “The British people rose up and threw off the shackles of their oppressors. The parallels with Brexit could not be clearer.”
Nobody dared to point out that the Roman empire was comprehensively Vandalised, and overrun by Goths. Their habit of wearing black is the main reason the following half century was called the Dark Ages.
“The British people are both resilient and innovative!” May stated. “Horse power was sufficient for our ancestors, and it is good enough for us. Get back in the saddle and start champing at the bit!”
May bridled at the suggestion that it was all a bit, well, unnecessary. “The Anglo-Saxon people triumphed then, and they will triumph again!” she declared. “Bridle means bridle!”
The stable (which seemed strong enough) echoed to the sound of weak applause, as May sashayed clumsily through the straw to the nearest regeneration alcove.
A new official no deal notice has been rushed out, advising people to convert their garages into stables, and to stockpile hay.
And it can only be a matter of time before fox hunting becomes mandatory.