Currency traders are warning of fears of a total collapse of pound sterling today if an anti-Brexit keyboard warrior doesn’t stop talking the country down on social media.
”It’s causing a run on the pound like I’ve not seen since black Wednesday, or mauve Tuesday, or whenever that was. I’m too terrified to concentrate. I haven’t yet bought my holiday money for the Costa Del Sol next week,” Mr Wise Penny, senior currency analyst at the Bank of England told LCD Views.
The sudden crash in the value of the greatest currency ever conceived since the mighty celtic peoples (of whatever Britain was called before the forerunner to the EU stumbled across it) first started swapping rings of metal for stuff, is leading to fears of a meltdown across the Eurozone.
”This is an existential threat and a real and actual threat to the Euro,” Mrs Knot Knot, Chairman of the ECB commented, “we simply can not print Euro notes fast enough to meet demand from people exchanging sterling for Euro’s.”
In an attempt to save the EU superstate’s tyrannical and undemocratic coin, the chairman has appealed directly to social media users in the U.K.
”Please, please, we beg you, stop talking the U.K. down by refusing to get behind Brexit and push on social media. Every major currency trader, hedge fund and the big six investment banks make their decisions based on what some random remainer says on Facebook and/or Twitter,
”It has nothing whatsoever to do with the U.K. currently having zero credible plans in place to deal with crashing out of the EU and eating hamsters. Only you can save the Euro and by doing so you will save the pound regardless of whatever the government of the day is, or more accurately, is not doing.”