Great news for wannabes today with the big tent announcement that Doctor Liam Fox is to write the sequel to “Art of the Deal” after successfully negotiating the EU trade deal.
”It’s just a slam dunk,” Liam’s editor, Part Curtains, of publishers Neocon, Asset Strip & Ampersand told us.
The interview was conducted miles above the Earth in the first class section of a specially chartered jet to get the authentic feel of Doctor Fox.
”If anyone asks you, how can Liam write a sequel to a book he didn’t write? You just tell them Donald didn’t write the first book either.”
And Liam likes to take the credit for other people’s work anyway?
”I couldn’t possibly comment on that. More foi gras?”
The book is expected to be completed in time for Liam’s retirement from decades of intense self service on the public purse next March.
”He doesn’t want to stop flying. He’s so addicted to it. And with the funding for the book coming from the budget of the Department for International Trade, well, it will be fit and proper for the taxpayer to foot the bill for the publicity tour.”
Any sneak previews you can give before release?
”Yes. There will be a whole chapter dedicated to pork barrelling. Another on how to deal with jet lag and several on interior design and how best to conceal confidants while travelling for work.”
I bet there’s a few tidbits on how to climb the greasy pole too?
”Friends. It’s all about having the best friends in high places. You slip down they can lift you right back up again. And guess who is writing the foreword?”
Oh! Do tell?
”BBC Radio 4 Today programme editor Sarah Sands! It’s said she does everything she can to promote Liam’s agenda.”
Any anxious nerves for Liam as he begins this next endeavour?
”None whatsoever. Success is assured with a Doctor in the house. He’s confident this will be the easiest sequel to write in history.”