Ferocious! Is the word thrumming along the grapevine of British politics today at the completion of the updated ‘Great Expectations’, and the re-titling of it ‘No Expectations’.
Many new and numerous characters included too. Chancers all with locked eyes and licked lips on a scale not seen before in the imaginative word salad works of man, and woman kind too.
So goes the rumour, a rumour describing not only the revised manuscript’s population, but also the atmosphere among the working group responsible at the completion of the revised Dickensian classic.
The Cabinet Office was the scene of the imaginative action and the epicentre of raised tempers, it is said; raging passions of authorial creation.
A collection of bastards together fighting over the pen as they wrote. All with so many tumescent ideas that cry for prominence.
They are actually supposed to be governing the country, and not bastardising Dickens, but they can and will not do governance.
Instead they have been holed up beating out and forging this manuscript to capture their peculiar vision for the United Kingdom in 2018 and beyond. And they expect our European partners to love it.
”We thought to use a fitting British classic as a template,” chief butcherer of sense and morality in 2018, Little Mickey Gove said, “and then to present it to the country, and our close friends the EU, in triumph the morning after the Downing Street orgy.”
The sweaty, sticky and lewd event (orgy) he refers to at the terminal point of his insight was of course the party hosted by Dominatrix of Despair, Theresa ‘everything will be my dungeon’ May, to celebrate the eruption of the ‘Fuck Business’ bill in the passages of British legislative history.
The wet work orgy itself is expected to be repeated many times in the months to come as various bits of statute are forced into shape by insertion into the crevices and cavities of parliament and its many orifices, before being splashed across the face of the nations of the union, who it is demanded, will be grateful for it. Each time a classic work will be updated to celebrate the frenzied pleasure of the authors.
“No Expectations today,” Gove added, “No Expectations for tomorrow. No Expectations for any day ever again now or never. And you’re going to like it, whether or not you asked for it.”