BMW has announced that it will be renaming “The Mini”, “Der Kleini” after it moves production of the iconic British car to Germany.
The Bavarian manufacturer announced last week that it would discontinue production of the Mini at its Oxford home citing the complete pointlessness of continue to manufacture anything in the UK after it has left the European Union and is obliged to impose WTA tariffs on all products coming in and out of the country.
“Let’s face it, after the UK crashes out of the world’s biggest and most successful trading block with no trade deal no one in the UK will be able to afford new cars, and the exported vehicles will be subject to stonking great tariffs,” said BMW spokesman Wolf Atzador, explaining that as everyone in the UK knows perfectly well, the Mini is a product of “the self preservation society”.
“But that society is signally failing to preserve itself – Brexit was only supposed to blow the EU’s bloody doors off,” he laughed pointing out that the stupid Brexit bus with its silly slogan is currently dangling over the precipice, as Theresa May and Boris Johnson, frantically push the golden unicorns of the “Brexit Dividend” out of the back door.
“Und if we are building the Mini in Deutschland, we may as well give it a German name he added.
“Der Kleini it is – not very imaginative, but then neither was “Mini”,” he laughed, adding that the original mini wasn’t even designed by an Englishman.
“Alec Issigonis was a Levantine Greek from Izmir in Turkey,” he said explaining that Issigonis arrived in Britain in 1923 as a 16 year old refugee with his widowed mother.
“If he tried that now your gammon faced wankpuffins and spunk trumpets would be laughing as he drowned in the Med,” he added grimly.
“Let’s see what amazing talents the latest wave of immigration from Syria brings us…and by us I mean Germany and the EU, WITHOUT the UK” he smirked.