The fantastic and forward thinking Conservative government took decisive action today to build an air wall to stop Airbus and other major businesses flying from the U.K. faced with Brexit.
”They don’t get away while I’m in charge,” professional plank of lumber David Davis told us, elbows parked at terminal 3, House of Commons bar.
The wall will initially be constructed to ecompass all of North East Wales, to enclose the airplane maker’s ground operations and test runway, but additional walls can be constructed in ever increasing rings.
”We should have built the sea wall already,” Davis said, “to stop the EU27 fruit pickers legging it, but we’ll stop the rest!”
It seems Mr Davis has been lobbying privately since the botched 2017 general election campaign last year for the UK’s stonemasons to be put to work.
”This is the issue with how Tory party members undermined the leader at the last general election by not voting for May in sufficient numbers to secure a commanding majority.”
It seems the one thing going against Brexit has always been time, even though the leadership of both main political parties are fully signed up.
”Reality is a bitch too,” Davis added, “you see Brexit was designed as a twenty four hour smash and grab. We crash out of the EU. Not this farcical extended process that exposes all the bullshit we’re shovelling.”
Had the 2017 general election delivered the overwhelming majority sought by the Tory Brexiters they could have held all the businesses and people, and to an extent the EU hostage.
”Imagine all that tax haven cash flooded into the U.K. overnight to snap up companies that are actually sound, but where artificially devalued by the unexpected calamity of the abrupt exit? It would have been an investment boom.”
Asked how he expected to stop the aeronautical industry taking flight with a wall around North East Wales. Davis added,
”We could use nets?” before continuing to get absolutely shit faced at publicly subsidised expense.