Dublin’s automotive manufacturing sector was reporting the beginning of a boom today as English workers began establishing subsidiary jobs in Ireland.
”There’s been a trickle of English car sector workers setting up subsidiary jobs since the overwhelming majority of voters in the United Kingdom delivered an unassailable advisory mandate to destroy all life in the United Kingdom,” our Dublin correspondent said,
“and as the Brexit negotiations are nearing a triumphant conclusion, English people are taking advantage of the new, exciting possibilities opened up for them by hard right, and hard left, politicians in England. Added of course by hundreds of moderates who are only too willing to support the decision to erase the economy.”
It seems pressure is now piling on workers at Jaguar Landrover, Rolls Royce, Nissan and others who haven’t acted yet to get that second job established, before Dublin runs out of space.
”It’s quite amazing when you consider before the referendum how many doom merchants said Brexit would cut a devastating swathe through entire sectors of British manufacturing. But here we are, much like hedge fund managers, auto workers are finding they’re ending up with more jobs thanks to Brexit, not less. It’s also a boom to the aviation sector as the car workers of England will need to fly in and out of Dublin to manage their second jobs.”
We sought comment for this exciting change from an English politician who hitherto has had a reputation for being a bit of a remoaner.
“It just shows the sensible, pragmatic approach of the British people,” Jacob Rees-mogg told us, “faced with the opportunity to hedge against only having so many hours in the day to work their existing English jobs, they’re setting up subsidiary jobs in Dublin. It all makes perfect sense.”
And what about your investment business? Are you following the lead of the car sector workers, who in their thousands are now experiencing the thrill of Brexit’s many, exciting possibilities?
“Oh no, I’m far too patriotic for that,” he said, “call me old fashioned, but I like to keep the majority of my fund’s money in sanctioned Russian banks.”