The Emperor’s New Clothes, a haberdashery store located near the Palace of Westminster, has had to put a sign up warning its best customers it’s running out of stock.
LCD Views clearly doesn’t have any staff who shop there, so we sent along a correspondent down to the corner of Westminster Green to talk to some customers.
”I’m visibly distressed,” T May told us, “I’ve been shopping here since mid 2016. I buy a new suit every week. I particularly like the up cycled anchor chains they sell as necklaces. They give you a real atmosphere of what it must have been like to be a big ship, the Titanic, for example.”
And she wasn’t the only worried regular.
”Trump’s tariff war means I need a whole new ensemble, again!” a little boy called Liam F told us, “I don’t know how I’ll get us a trade deal if I don’t have the right suit for selling British made goods to tyrants. You know, easy clean stuff, in case you tour a local government facility while visiting.”
There were others too, most notably a bouncing, bullish, blonde chap.
”Now look here, this is fandaggerrel unpatriotic,” Boorish B flamepangled, “I’ve been telling our closest friends and neighbours to go whistle. The map of glorious, never ending gobstopping Global Britain is all pink!
And now I need their help due to a pesky little nervy thing. I need the full Bullingdon kit out to impress Johnny Foreigner!”
It’s clearly a concern. We hope supplies can be swiftly restocked.
”I don’t actually sell them anything,” the proprietor whispered, “they’re all nude!”
Just then we noticed a man with a whiny little voice beseeching a customer service assistant to sell him a pair of boxing gloves.
”This scary sociopath type is threatening to put me in a glass box on his desk!”
It wasn’t going well for him.
”Oh do shut up and go away,” the staff member told him.
We suspect the store will restock soon enough, reality supplies the shop.