SOURCE OF NATURAL GAS : The United Kingdom’s last Prime Minister Boris Johnson has suffered a mysterious and perplexing fall in personal popularity recently.
The popularity of the country’s PM does not affect its governance, which will continue to be ghastly as long as Mr Johnson remains in 10 Downing Street. It is important however, as being popular is the only motivator for the prime minister.
“The success of the throwaway line about Thatcher, miners and climate change the other day has Mr Johnson thinking hard about whether or not he can riff off it again,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views.
While the PM could reach into his extensive back catalogue of columns and recycle a joke about an ethnic minority or women, it’s believed he feels it will be good to draw on Thatcher again, because of her enduring resonance in the popular imagination.
“He’s going to go with Climate Change again. That’s a definite,” the source suggests, “all the way to the burning seas. He just has to find the right classical reference to throw into the mix this time.”
The necessity of acting swifter on his personal polling, than climate change, is obvious, as the Tory Party will not tolerate his toxic clown act if he no longer looks like a guaranteed vote winner.
“People are starting to talk about his successor and that’s no laughing matter for Boris,” the source adds. “He needs to move fast and he needs to move now. You can just feel Gove in the shadows phoning around to see who is ready to go for the kill. The PM will tolerate a lot of things. Child poverty. Anti-vax and racist street protests. Collapsing U.K. businesses due to his policies and so on. But he will not tolerate manoeuvres to stab him in the back. Loyalty to him is very important. Only loyalty to him you understand, the rest of it is a load of old bollocks.”
Let’s hope Mr Johnson comes up with a killer gag soon before his popularity completely goes up in smoke.
“We’re asking right wing comics to write in with any suggestions. Be fast. The Johnson fatberg is capsizing and the temperature is rising.”
For the Great British public however, increasingly it seems the end of Johnson’s career will be both a surprise and a right old laugh.