SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO: Amnesia has struck our work-shy holiday addict of a Prime Minister. The man who claims he got elected on a promise to Get Brexit Done has conveniently forgotten which way he voted in the referendum.
A Downing Street aide, Enda McTether, admitted this startling fact, while both confirming and denying that Johnson was away on an all expenses paid jolly.
“The Prime Minister is not available to answer such trivial matters,” McTether scolded. “Don’t you know, he’s working night and day sorting out all this mess that definitely isn’t his fault.”
We heard that he’s currently on holiday.
“He strained a sinew and needs a rest,” confirmed McTether. “But he’s still working as hard as ever, he will not stop until he drops, so it’s not really a holiday is it, after all Marbella isn’t just a luxury resort on the Med, it’s a hotbed of workaholics, it has more laptops than Venice you know!”
More sunbed than hotbed, by the sound of it.
“You can top up your tan and sort out six kinds of national crisis at the same time!” screeched McTether. “Boris is in constant touch with Dominic Raab in case anything goes wrong!”
Let’s just hope the sea is open again. So, now we know that Johnson is on holiday, even though he isn’t, and right on top of Carrie if nothing else, why don’t you let us know how he voted in the referendum?
“He can’t remember, he’s slept since then!” said the very agitated McTether. “But it was definitely the right decision! It’s water under the bridge, it’s a private matter… it’s time to move on!”
He’s pricked his own bubble. No wonder there’s so much hot air. The puffed up inflatable prime minister has let himself down.