TANTRIC PANDEMIC : A cross party group of incensed MPs have called today for an inquiry into how much money CV-19 has donated to the governing Conservatives.
The call comes on the back of an anticipated sixteenth wave of the virus which has been shouting its intentions for weeks, and been largely ignored by Downing Street. Some are even saying not just ignored but actively encouraged, given what extending the plague means financially to people who have Matt’s WhatsApp.
“It’s well known figures linked to cabinet ministers have absolutely smashed it financially during the pandemic,” one of the MPs stated. “It would be nice to know where all the money is coming from. Given there is no money to educate or feed poor kids the cash for non-existent PPE contracts has to be coming from somewhere? It can’t all just be off the back of selling peerages. Maybe the viral strands of RNA are donating if? Not just donating. Throwing it at Tories by the truckload?”
Critics have pointed out though that the inquiry is unnecessary as like everything else the corrupt and useless Grim Reaper does off the back of his 80 seat majority is bleeding obvious.
Downing Street is expected to resist the calls to hold the inquiry as they are rumoured to be too busy trying to work out which donor paid for the golden calf which has been installed inside the PM’s office.