(FAR) RIGHT MOVE : Governing the country is set to be even easier for Boris “Spaffed out” Johnson and Dominic “Shorter all the time” Cummings with the changing of the numbers on the doors of Downing Street.
“It’s not just the number 10 that’s being replaced with 55, but the 11 on the Chancellor’s door too,” a Downing Street source revealed today.
Quite what will be done with the ‘10’ and ‘11’ isn’t clear, although there is some suspicion that secret remoaners in the civil service may attempt to hide them away in the hope of one day restoring them to their former places.
“I wouldn’t get your hopes up,” the Downing Street source responded, “we’re geniuses, in case you haven’t heard. We’re so many steps ahead of our opponents that we’ve already run off the cliff. Mostly of moral judgement. But also of responsible governance. This is why we have to change the numbers on the doors, so people know exactly why we’re in government.”
And the change in numbers is more than symbolic, as Dom and Bo are reportedly trying to move people who run such pillars of democratic progression like the TPA into the treasury.
This will presumably help further the alleged aims of only poor people paying tax, leaving filthy rich, hard right rabble rousing individuals free to explore such wonderful fields as eugenics and social media manipulation.
“It’s good to make the recent change in leadership at Downing Street permanent by switching the numbers. Much easier than moving the entire building to Tufton Street. That’s where we’ve the 55 from. 55 Tufton Street. Google it. Although the map will be wrong, as it’s now in Downing Street.”
But critics have been quick to quibble with the change in numerals.
“It shouldn’t be changed to 55,” one social media commentator said, “but 666. If you’re going to make a symbolic change, to display who’s the driving force in this government, at the least make it accurate.”