HOUSE FALLING ON WICKED WITCH : Reports this evening that the UK’s GIF printers are working furiously to stockpile Wizard of Oz themed GIFS for the moment Theresa May is finally forced to quit.
“I ANTICIPATE BY THIS TIME NEXT WEEK I’LL BE A MILLIONAIRE!” Mr Fhew Secconds shouted at us from his factory floor, “We’re going to sell out in seconds across all social media platforms. PASS THE GREEN INK POT THERE PLEASE! There’s a good lad!”
And Mr Secconds isn’t the only GIF business madly preparing to cash in on a change of leadership. At the UK’s premium supplier of sarcastic face memes the presses are running hot too.
”It’s the same at the tiny violin factory,” our report in the southwest says, “ all through the afternoon, as reports surfaced on Twitter of frustrated Tory MPs shouting in private at the prime minister to please just F off, the violin makers got their minature axes and began felling wee trees.”
And fears of a boom and bust cycle in the GIF are definitely over rated, because it seems nailed on that whoever replaces Theresa May will be even more insane.
”That’s my only fear,” one GIF printer told us, “if by some freakish chance one of the younger, remainy, not complete batshit crazy stories replaces May, well, I will have over extended myself in ‘This is fine’ burning house memes.”
We think there’s little danger of that, although an outside chance. But so outside it’s halfway up the street.
”Still, I’m sure if that happens Mark Francois will keep us in the pink chopping and cutting up new memes.”
Any moment now, the famous song from the famous film will play on repeat across the land.
”Ding dong…”