BREAKING : LCD Views has the completely imagined scoop today that Tory MP for Destruction, Chris Grayling, has been revealed as the campaign strategist for Andrew Adonis in the EU elections, which may or may not, be happening in the UK on the 23rd May 2019.
“He was the right man for the job, whatever the outcome,” an insider claiming to work in Andrew’s office told LCD Views, “Chris gets things done, not necessarily with any relation to the criteria established at the start, but still, just ask the ferryless ferry company, he’ll get you a result. In particular if you’re a Tory who just lives to funnel taxpayer money into private pockets, that’s the only result that matters, the quality of service provided is not important. So as a man with a reputation for action he was a prize recruit. He was certain to get a result that would catch everyone’s attention.”
And it seems he has. Best known for orchestrating the rise of Theresa May into 10 Downing Street, it’s thought Chris had some spare time on his hands before he begins planning for President Trump’s state visit in June.
“It had to have been Chris Grayling’s idea for Andrew Adonis to kickstart his campaign to become an MEP by cutting and posting Lexit spin bollocks onto his social media account and then ignoring the baffled outrage that resulted. Talk about knocking Nigel off the top spot amongst the chattering classes. Bullseye!”
While neither Mr Grayling or Mr Adonis have confirmed that he is working to help get Andrew elected as an MEP, or not elected as an MEP, we are certain his handiwork is all over the campaign, given the last 24 hours.
“It’s either that or Seamus and the other Corbynista’s have kidnapped Adonis and tied him to the same chair they keep Starmer tied to. They only get bread and water if they promise to say ‘respect the result of the referendum’ every day. Otherwise they get the hose…again.”
We wish Mr Adonis good luck with his career. He shone a light for people who want to vote Labour, but don’t feel they can currently because of the leadership’s support of Brexit, and one day it was felt, so long as senior and vocal figures like the Labour Peer stood steadfast for rule of law and the country’s interests, one day, everyone could come home.
Now, well, lots of people are redoubling their efforts to find a new home, judging by posts on social media. WTF Andrew Adonis. WTF.