ORGAN GRINDER’S MONKEY : Great news today for citizens of the USA with the announcement that their President is completely relaxed by Russian plans to drop a nuclear bomb on Washington D.C.
Earlier today the CIA revelaed it had uncovered “advanced” plans by the Kremlin to respond to Trump’s war with Iran by dropping a nuke on The White House. It seems Russian President Vladimir Putin is so upset by his employee of the month grabbing all the headlines that he’s got to show him “who’s the daddy.”
“President Trump believes that Mr Putin will be doing him a favour if he vaporises Washington,” a White House insider told LCD Views. “Oh and do you want to buy a hat? Or a pen? Or a watch? We’re bringing back Trump steaks too. Hang on. I think there’s one here somewhere. They’re selling so fast we can’t keep up. You can pay in crypto too. But you have to send it to an account overseas. For national security reasons. What were we talking about?”
The reasons for Mr Trump’s nonchalance in the face of the imminent destruction of the capital of the USA are perfectly understandable and extensive.
“Well you can forget about the Epstein Files if Vlad nukes Washington. It’ll also save Mr Trump the trouble of destroying the rest of The White House himself. Nice fresh level ground to start on, assuming the crater isn’t too big. And if it is we’ll just use it to house illegals. There’s really no downside. It is not treason if Mr Trump gives Putin the targeting details either. It’s just statesmanship.”
The exact timing of the detenation is the only concern.
“Well the corruption in the Russian military is really something to be impressed by. Star in a crowded field. So it’s possible some of the components of the bomb maybe out of date or replaced by an old fashioned alarm clock. But if they throw it at the ground hard enough it should go off.”
Happily too there’s no concerns over Mr Trump’s personal safety.
“He told me himself, it’s not a problem, he lives in Florida.”