A VERY STABLE GENIUS : THE USA IS SHOWING IT’S LEARNED FROM PAST MISTAKES by starting World War Three.
There were concerns in some quarters that the world’s fastest waining superpower had failed to learn the lessons of the first two world wars. Most noticeably by insisting on an international rules based order post the cataclysms of the first two world wars last century, and only since starting wars in countries it believed unlikely to trigger another global apocalypse. But the doubters have been proven wrong. Again.
“He’s got the greatest numbers,” a White House insider told LCD Views. “No one has ever seen numbers like President Trump. Most people can’t start even one war. Mr Trump is showing them how it’s done. He tried blowing up fishing boats in The Caribbean but that didn’t work, so he’s gone and blown up one of The Middle East’s most insane governments. It’s genius.”
The decision to start dropping bombs on Iranian school girls in the expectation their families would demand their zealous government do whatever Mr Trump wants is so far proving hugely popular in one country especially.
“What an intellectual titan,” the insider gushed. “Most people couldn’t have figured out a way to help the Russian government in its fiscal difficulties, but blow up Iran and cause global oil prices to surge? And everyone be so distracted by the drunken frat boy he’s put in charge of the military? I mean. Come on! Would you have done it? USA! USA! USA!”
The masterclass in international power politics has also helped to quieten down speculation amongst losers that they just had to wait out Mr Trump’s second term and America would change back to its former self.
“Who cares? I mean seriously. Do you know how much money the Trump family is raking in right now? The softserve wannabes that have led America through earlier world wars didn’t make a dime from it. Because they were late. But Mr Trump is first. America is first now. And that’s the way to cash in on the broken bodies of the innocents who didn’t vote for him anyway.”