DUMBEST IN HERD LEADING : EXCITING NEWS TODAY for peaceniks the world over with the announcement that 79 year old spoiled brat and US President, Donald Trump, is getting bored of the war he started with Iran.
“It’s hard to keep his attention for long,” Mr Trump’s nanny told LCD Views, “he’s so energetic but so easily distracted. I have to shake a gold plated rattle over his head every time I need to change him or he just squirms and wriggles away leaving a ghastly trail of destruction behind him. He’s like a slug in human form, but instead of a slime trail he leaves faeces and death wherever he goes. He’s so charming. Aren’t you Donnie, Donnie, Donnie…NO STOP DONNIE! DONNIE. NO. JUST BECAUSE. Oh Lord Above! You’ve blown up another school!”
How soon the USA President grows frustrated and bored with blowing up Iran is seen as a key indicator of how long the conflict will continue, at least with active US engagement.
“You know those spoiled little kids who try and pretend to be generous by giving some other child a sweet they secretly dislike?”
Yes. We’ve all met them.
“They’ve worked out if they pretend to want to share everyone will praise them? Mostly out of relief that they aren’t having another public meltdown? That’s our Donnie. He’s trying to give the war he started in Iran, to allegedly distract from the Epstein Files, his failure to stop the war in Ukraine and the damage he’s doing to the American economy and global influence, to the Iranian Kurds right now so he can go off and do something else. Like have a hamburger and scream at the TV.”
Handing over Middle Eastern wars to the Kurds is one of the favourite past times of US Presidents and no one is really surprised Mr Trump is attempting it too.
“I blame the Iranian people really,” Mr Trump’s nanny told LCD Views, “if they had just been bothered to be slaughtered in even greater numbers while unarmed a few months ago, Mr Trump would not have had to start this war to begin with weeks too late. And anyway, we all know it was Biden’s fault for stealing the 2020 election.”