THE TOECUTTER : The last President of the United States of America and a man who can’t even run a casino profitably, Donald Trump, has given a press conference today in defence of his victim blaming policy on the war in Ukraine.
“Zelenskyy’s dress is too short,” Mr Trump told a handpicked selection of press, while some tech billionaire gurned in the background, “and he shouldn’t be walking alone at night anyway. It’s not the fault of the attacker. He was provoked into it by Mr Zelenskyy’s hem line.”
The press conference was held in the expectation of deflecting from Mr Trump’s apparent strategy to allow Russia to win its war of genocide and aggression.
“Look, I want the noble piece prize and I don’t care how many Ukrainians have to die avoidably before I get it. It’s mine! IT’S MINE! MINE! MINE!” Mr Trump clarified, and did a very good impression of Violet Beauregarde while he was at it. Although Violent Disregard maybe a more apt handle in the present.
But while the decision to address criticism directly certainly shows Mr Trump has the volume of bile needed to destroy the world, there remain one or two questions over why everything he does seems to benefit Mr Putin. Even, heaven forbid, the suggestion that Donald Trump is a Russian asset?
To those Mr Trump simply shrugged, gave his biggest and most inane grin and replied, “I’m just following orders.”